Ink A Bink A Bottle Of Ink

We go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong. Together forever like fricks and fracks, Franny and Zooey, In-n-Out, Bill and Ted, Limbaugh and Percocet, ass and Kardashians, Garfield and pizza, Harold and Maude, hippies and patchouli, warm cookies and cold milk, pestles and mortars.

You guys are catching my drift. Presumably.

These are the exceptional godparents to our tiny Sassy Pants. On her 3rd birthday she was gifted a book of temporary "tardoos" and ever since she's been strutting around preschool like the bad ass, inked up, queen bee that she is. 

Now that she's ripened to the age of 4 and a half, my husband and I have decided she needs to start pulling some of her own weight around here. After all, 34 pounds takes a week's worth of pay to feed. 

She has designated chores like feeding the pup, dusting the tables, making her bed, re-roofing the house, re-wiring the dimmer switches, paving the driveway, and tiling the kitchen floors. These things earn her about $5 a week which she immediately tosses into her treasure box for safe keeping. 

Last month she earned enough to buy herself the much sought after Barbie Pearl Princess dress (which rocked high fashion runways around the world) and this month she has her eyes on its matching scooter counterpart. 

Once one gets that taste of success, one often finds it difficult to go back.

Enter- The Traditional Summer Lemonade Stand:

Yeah, no.

If you're going to do a stand, then do something amazing. 

Go big or get outta here.

There are lemonade booths on every corner of every suburb around America as we speak. But my kiddo is a savvy trend setter, a think-outside-the-box entrepreneur, and a fashion icon. She looks other kids in the face and laughs at their mediocrity due to her badassness. She never cries, she eats broken glass for breakfast and she knows how to work the system. 

Look at her game face. 

Stern yet fair, approachable, and totally relevant. 

"Keep your eyes on the prize," she says.

"They won't come to me?" She says. 

"That's fine. I will go to them," she says.

The girl waved down every passing car and eventually had a waiting line down the street. Motorcyclists pulled over, couples came from their houses, kids ran over from the neighborhood park. Our security was breaking up fights, people were bowled over to get to the front, elbows were thrown, punches were bountiful.  It was an anarchy situation behind the red rope. 

She made $14 in 45 minutes. 

"That's enough for now," she says. "Maybe I'll come back out tomorrow when I need cash for that My Little Pony I've been eyeballing."

She's so cool.

The Brotherhood Of The Traveling Unicorn

Here's the thing:

For Halloween, Jason went as an 80's rocker. 

Finding the perfect t-shirt was critical.

Just as I was about to give up after searching almost every thrift store in town, I turned the corner and something out of place caught my eye. To the left across the bruised toys and around the corner of tossed aside wooden baskets, I saw a lone black shirt stuffed in among the soiled coffee pots. I pulled it out, unwaded the fabric and it was like a light shown down from the heavens. 

Trumpets played, angels hugged, choirs sang.

It was a glorious moment that brought tears to my eyes.
I knew this shirt was the winner I had been longing for. 

When I brought it up to the counter, the check out man smiled and held it up to his fellow co-workers who all told me about the shirt's fate saturated arrival. Apparently, they had discussed between them who was going to end up with this gem of cotton and whoever did was going to be one very lucky soul. I mean, it is pretty much the best shirt ever created.

So Halloween came and went but at the end of the day, we were left debating on what to do with this fantastic electric unicorn find.

"I kind of want to re-gift it," he said.

"Hmmmm...... I have an idea..." I said.

A week prior, I had been flipping through Pinterest and I ran across "The Giving Plate." It was just an uncomplicated porcelain platter with a nice letter written on it about passing food among friends and family. The directions stated that once you receive the plate, you whip up some sort of baked good and then gift the plate and the goodies to your closest girlfriend who then does the same. The plate goes round and round and continues to spread joy wherever it goes.

Well that's nice.

And then it dawned on me...

How could I be so stupid to think this shirt was just meant for our small minded little family? This shirt was a drifter! A dreamer! A loner full of wanderlust! Of course a shirt such as this one can't be tied down to one owner, what was I thinking??

So.

I am currently on a path to help this shirt fulfill its destiny. 

Here is how:

I have made and laminated its story to be passed along from person to person. I figure, wherever this shirt goes, wherever it ends up, we can all track it back to this web page. If this shirt ends up in your lucky hands, email me! krista@thebrighterwriter.com and send me a picture of you in the shirt along with your location and I will post the picture here on this site. If you're on Twitter or Instagram, take a picture and use #TheBrotherhoodOfTheTravelingUnicorn to show us all the adventures it has been on.

Who knows where it'll go! Maybe it'll make its way around the world!

The Unicorn Journey:

Updated 1/16/14 - The electric unicorn has made its way from Fort Collins, Colorado to Lake Forest, California. Thank you to Scott R. for the photo update!

Updated 2/3/14 - From  Lake Forest, California to Sahuarita, Arizona! Thanks to Brian J! Best pictures ever!

From a lineman in Sahuarita, Arizona to a train engineer in Tucson, Arizona! 

Thanks Kyle Jackson!

 To Nick Jordan from Georgia!

Moving along to Joshua Quesada from Philadelphia, P.A

Marvin Estevez From Queens, New York! 

Thanks guys for keeping it going! 

Celebrities Without Eyebrows

I saw a girl at work the other day with completely drawn on eyebrows.

They were totally shaved or plucked or whatever, and then literally drawn back onto her face with brown eyeliner.

Which (of course) got me to wondering what she looked like when she washed her face at night.

Probably super weird.

And then I started to wonder (of course) what other people looked like without eyebrows.

So in spirit of November when men grow out their mustaches as part of the "Movember" movement, and as a celebration of hair on people's faces in general, I bring to you my montage of eyebrow-less celebrities.

You know, because why not?

Let me preface this by saying, I have too much time on my hands. Clearly.

And also that I was halfway done with this project before I even gave myself a chance to think about it. It wasn't until I got a phone call from a friend of mine in California asking me "Whatcha doin?" that I really thought about the words coming out of my mouth: "Just eating candy and Photoshopping eyebrows off celebrity's faces. What are you up to?"

Anyway,

here

they

are.

Brad Pitt, you cheating-on-Jennifer-Aniston-sonofabitch. No eyebrows for you.

Eminem, quit being so angry all the damn time. Grab a Slurpee and a newspaper from 7-11, read the comics, have a giggle and chill out every once in a while. No eyebrows for you.

Johnny Depp, you swashbuckling schizophrenic dreamboat. Enough with the eyeliner already. No eyebrows for you. 

Justin Timberlake - we all remember you wore an all denim suit along with matching hat in alliance with the dress of your then girlfriend Britney Spears at one point in your life. No eyebrows for you. 

(as a reminder:)

Katy Perry, you're annoying as hell. No eyebrows for you.

Kim Kardashian, because what have you ever done besides have a fat ass and leak your own sex tape to the paparazzi? Why are you even famous?? No eyebrows for you. 

Miley Cyrus, try learning how to dance or play an instrument or sing on key instead of having to hump a giant foam finger to stay relevant. No eyebrows for you. 

George Clooney, you have the eyebrows of a god, and I was just curious to know what you looked like without them. I really don't have anything against your distinguished handsome self. Sorry, no eyebrows for you. 

Rihanna, you let Chris Brown kick your ass and then went back to him with open arms for all little girls around the world take note of. Whether you or anyone else in this world actually wants you as a role model is besides the point, you unfortunately are one anyway. I had a super long term boyfriend beat me up once. Guess where he is now? Oh yeah, I don't care because he beat me up!

If Chris Brown is allowed to mangle your face, so am I. No eyebrows for you. 

And the crem de la crem, the kid from Twilight, Robert Pattinson. I hate those movies. They're stupid. No eyebrows for you.

You're welcome. 

You can now follow me on Instagram! @thebrighterwriter

How To Make A Ghostbusters Proton Pack

Ok, so I was basically meant to be a Ghostbuster at some point in time for Halloween. This year turned out to be the year. I didn't have any problem picking up the outfit at a second hand store, but the proton pack that I found to go with it was a blow up super cheesy kind that I had no interest in. So I decided to make my own. 

Here's how you can make one too. 

Step 1: Find yourself a backpack. Any kind with black straps will do. I got this Disney Cruise Line pack at Good Will for $1.99

Step 2: Get a stitch ripper and take off the entire front of the back. All you need is the flat black base and the straps. Everything else can go.

Step 3: Find a bunch of crap around your house that you don't mind destroying. It really can be anything you want. You're going to end up painting it so make sure it isn't anything you'll want to use again in the future. I used a breakfast sausage box, an old handle from my daughter's plastic sand shovel, a large plastic Lego, a Tupperware lid, the plug bottom of a burned out night light, a cable splitter, a metal hook and a handful of random vacuum attachments. 

Honestly, a pile of trash. 

Step 4: Take your trash, spray paint it all black and hot glue gun everything to the back pack. Make sure you lay it all out first and have all the pieces where you want them to go.

Here's what the original looks like in case you need a point of reference:

As you can see from above, you need wires. You'll need to grab some sort of used electronic for step 5. Again, I hit up the Good Will and found an old speaker box from a computer and the guy sold it to me for a dollar. 

Take apart the box, be careful not to cut yourself, and pull out all the old wires that look proton-packish. Go for the ones with lots of colors. 

Grab your hot glue gun and glue your wires wherever they fit. Sorry to be so vague, but your pile of trash is going to be different than mine, so just use your best judgement here.

I used sticky label paper from OfficeMax to print out some stickers from the internet.

For my ghost trapper, I used an old Kleenex box.
Step 1: paint it black.

Step 2: Put your stickers on. ( I found a black fan inside the previously pulled apart speaker box and glued that on for good measure.)

My cord is just an old coaxial cable. Feel free to add a handle or whatever else to it. I wasn't going to make another trip to the Good Will so I just called it a day on this one. 

Happy Ghost Busting!

Want to hear more from me? Follow me on Instagram! @thebrighterwriter

College.

Lets play catch up a bit here.

Kalynn is officially 3 years old.

Everyone tells me the terrible twos have nothing on the thunderous threes. So far, this is proven to be extremely spot on. She's very opinionated, very stubborn, very determined and very sassy. She makes her own path, right or wrong, and she doesn't take no for an answer. I'm not 100% sure if this is an age thing, or a hereditary thing. I guess we'll find out in due time. Either way, trying to tame the wild, or at the very least trying to keep up with her, is exhausting. Fun, but exhausting.

It seems like the crazier life becomes with a growing toddler, the faster it goes.

I'm having a hard time believing that 2012 is already over, let alone the entire month of January and half of February in 2013. Sometimes it's nice to slow down a bit and remember what is truly important. Mainly, the people I love.

When we visited California a couple weeks ago, it was really important to me to get some pictures of Kalynn with my grandmother (her great-grandmother). She's been an awesome staple in my life from before I can even remember and I really wanted to figure out a cool way to capture of all 4 generations of women in our family:

I absolutely love love love the idea of this picture. Being more physically distant from that side of my family then I have been in years is really hard sometimes, so having this little piece of them to on hang on Kalynn's wall is really special for us.

And with time flying by quicker than I expected, I also came to the realization that we need to be financially prepared for things that will come faster than we thought they would. Like Kalynn going to college.

Because she is going to college.

Every holiday I get asked by friends and family "is there anything that Kalynn needs?" "What kinds of things does she like?" "What types of toys does she play with?" And the truth is, She's three. And a spoiled three at that. She has more toys than she knows what to do with. More importantly, she has more energy than any person I've ever met so sitting down and playing with anything for an extended period of time is just out of the question most of the time. Sure, she loves to open gifts and have new toys and we're not unappreciative of the things that she has gotten and loved over the years. A few of those toys have even become part of our permanent daily routine, but truthfully, at least at this point, we're blessed to not lack any traditional type of toy or clothing that she needs.

Gradsave.com is a way for our friends and family to give the gift of education instead of traditional presents for any of Kalynn's special occasions, holidays and birthdays. College is expensive. I'm currently in the process of paying back a portion of my student loans and it's almost impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. What we're trying to do, is to not let Kalynn have a giant mound of debt after she finishes her degree. After seeing the final bill of my own college experience, and imagining the inflating cost of a college education 15 years down the road, it's frightening to think where we'd be if we didn't start planning right away.

Gradsave is super easy to use and it's 100% FDIC insured. We've set up an account for Kalynn so all anyone needs to do if they wish to donate is go to her profile page. All donations big and small are welcome. As soon as she hits her $1000 goal, that money is then transferred into her 529 college savings fund and her Gradsave goal starts again at zero. This website makes it so easy for friends and family to participate in an extremely practical gift that she'll never outgrow no matter how old she gets. It's pure genius.

If you'd like to make a donation or if you'd just like to check out Kalynn's profile page, CLICK HERE.

Other than time passing far too quickly, things are returning to normal since the excitement of holidays and birthdays has come to an end. We're gearing up for Valentine's Day by planning a little photo shoot that will be posted later next week. Hope all is well with all of you!

xo

Movember

Overview of Movember - (www.movember.com)

"During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo's, these men raise vital awareness and funds for men's health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer initiatives.

Once registered at www.movember.com, men start Movember 1st clean shaven. For the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as 'Mo Bros', groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November. Through their actions and words they raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember. 

The Movember Effect: Awareness & Education, Survivorship, Research
The funds raised in the US support prostate cancer and testicular cancer initiatives. The funds raised are directed to programs run directly by Movember and our men’s health partners, the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG Foundation. Together, the three channels work together to ensure that Movember funds are supporting a broad range of innovative, world-class programs in line with our strategic goals in the areas of awareness and education, survivorship and research.

Movember - a global movement
Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne, Australia, Movember has grown to become a truly global movement inspiring more than 1.9 Million Mo Bros and Mo Sistas to participate with formal campaigns in Australia, New Zealand, the US, Canada, the UK, South Africa, Ireland, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, Denmark, Norway, Belgium and the Czech Republic. In addition, Movember is aware of Mo Bros and Mo Sistas supporting the campaign and men’s health cause across the globe, from Russia to Dubai, Hong Kong to Antarctica, Rio de Janeiro to Mumbai, and everywhere in between.

No matter the country or city, Movember will continue to work to change established habits and attitudes men have about their health, to educate men about the health risks they face, and to act on that knowledge, thereby increasing the chances of early detection, diagnosis and effective treatment.

In 2011, over 854,000 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas around the world got on board, raising $126.3 million USD.

Big steps have been taken towards changing attitudes and habits relating to men’s health around the world, but there is still much to be done to catch up with the women’s health movement. Via the moustache, Movember aims to fulfill its vision of having an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health by continuing to spark conversation and spread awareness of men’s health issues each year."

My sister was recognized for her efforts with Movember last year through her work:

This year through The Brighter Writer, I hope to raise awareness as well.

(yes, my mustache and I are both brunette now) 

Kalynn says: "Tis the season! Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow!"