The Magnet Mission

The 22 Spanish mission churches of California are very near and dear to my heart. Not because I'm religious or into period architecture or fountain designs or anything like that. Mostly because many years ago, I got drunk and put it on my bucket list to collect a magnet from every one of them. 

Now it's become a personal challenge. 

Plus,

 you know, 

I think they're pretty buildings.

So the previous visit to California we stayed mainly down in Orange County, however this time was predominantly up in LA. It was pretty much a straight shot from my mom's house to the San Fernando Rey De Espana Mission and from there it was only another hour up to the Mission Buenaventura. 

The San Fernando Rey De Espana mission is by far the coolest in pop culture history for a couple of reasons.  For one, it's the burial place of Bob Hope and his family which I had no idea when randomly stumbling on his tomb in the back gardens. (It's also the burial place of Ritchie Valens and Fred from I Love Lucy!)

For two, this mission is where they filmed the scenes from the Alamo in Pee Wee's Big Adventure! Now, we all know how I feel about the Pee Wee movies so this made the two hours in the car the best two hours of the trip. I've officially seen the same Alamo as the same person who rode in a car with Large Marge. My life is pretty much validated at this point. 

Next stop was a quick 45 minute to drive up the 101 to Ventura. Upon pulling into the parking spot, you can see immediately how much smaller and non secluded this second mission was. We put 20 minutes in the parking meter and didn't even use 5 of them. There were homeless people everywhere and the lady working the counter had a unnecessary attitude that made me want to kick her ass. Plus their magnet selection sucked. 

After a pit stop for milk shakes and burgers at my beloved In-N-Out, we headed back down to Long Beach and it was really just a perfect palm tree day hanging out with my mom and my baby girl. 

So I'm on magnet 9 out of 22, not too shabby! Looks like a trip to Northern California is in order to finish up the collection! Anyone want to put me up for a week?

Tricks and Treats

So my old iPhone 4 had an unfortunate and sudden death. 

Having been dropped quite a distance, the screen shattered both on the front and back with shards of glass burying their heads into the key pad causing multiple FaceTime calls to everyone in my address book at disastrous hours in the night. 

Inopportune for sure.

 I was sure a few of my friends would disown me. 

After the proper amount of mourning time, I marched down to the AT&T store, explained the untimely demise of my beloved lifeline, and asked if there was anything they could do for me.

Behold, my new iPhone 5C:

 There are a handful of tricks that I have recently discovered which are so cool, I figured it was worth the share.

1. If you turn your phone on to airplane mode, it charges twice as fast

2. When taking a picture, you can capture multiple shots for as long as you hold down the button by snapping 10 photos per second. And real-time analysis suggests the best photos of the bunch.

3. You can just ask Siri to wake you up in 3 hours (or however long) and she'll set an alarm for you instead of having to open and program your alarm clock app.

4. When you're taking a video and something happens where you want to take a picture, there is a small camera button to hit which snaps the shot without stopping the recording of your video. 

5. LTE is great for crazy fast downloads and Internet connection, but it kills your battery. If you turn off the LTE, your phone will go to 3G instead, which works just great around town for regular phone calls and whatever else.  Save your battery and slow it down a bit  Settings -> General -> Cellular -> Enable LTE to Off

6. Asking Siri to launch an app for you saves time and lives when you're driving around. 

7. You can take selfies using the button on your ear-bud / head phone cord. Just set your camera on the table or wherever, face the camera to you, and click the button. This way you won't have half your arm covering half your face. 

So those are the new things I've learned this week. I'm determined to master this phone and I send my sincere apologies to those I disrupted during my old phone's toddler-esque meltdown. 

Speaking of meltdowns...

Last week I left you with the introduction of our family's new Elf, Heart. On her first day, Kalynn found her in the cupboard making snow men out of our leftover camping marshmallows. 

Day 2 didn't go over so well. Heart was found cuddled up in the Cabbage Patch hammock, wearing another baby's pajamas and snuggling with Kalynn's favorite tiny Pound Puppies. 

This horrific display of disregard for other people's things flipped Kalynn's tiny temper switch and got Heart in some serious trouble. Kalynn was so upset that Heart would do such a thing, it sparked a silent feud between the two and they couldn't even look at each other for the rest of the day. 

Yes. Seriously. 

(Who knew this would turn out to be the parenting fail of the season...)

Day 3 Heart offered an apology and was found hanging upside down from the chandelier with an "I'm sorry" note and a box of Kalynn's favorite Pop Tarts. All was forgiven and their friendship was rekindled (but not without a "don't ever do that again!" speech).

Day 4 It snowed here in Colorado and Heart must have wanted to join in the excitement because we found her making snow angels on our kitchen table. 

Day 5 she was found in the corner tuning up Daddy's guitar. 

Day 6 Heart had made herself a tiny little fishing pole and had seemed to have caught herself a Goldfish cracker!

On Day 7, Heart must have quietly crept into Kalynn's closet and taken out the Candy Land game because we found her in the morning playing with her new friends. Although the elf was winning, it looked like R2D2 was close behind and Princess Belle was about to skip passed Lord Licorice and go into the Peppermint Forest.

This morning, we found Heart had toilet papered our Christmas tree and was still napping in the evidence. 

So in conclusion, it's been an exciting couple of weeks here at the Fuller Farm. 

My blog is being considered for the new Blog Her contribution page coming up in a couple of months and one of the requirements is to write more often so you'll be hearing from me on a steadier basis!

Thanks again for all the support and I hope everyone is staying warm out there in Internet Land!

xoxo

To Elf Or Not To Elf

Ok, so I was a little weary about this Elf on the Shelf thing.

I see the creepy factor.

A toy elf sitting in the corner who flies to the North Pole and reports to Santa every night while you sleep.

I thought about it for months before I decided to dive in head first and just go with it.

After months of pinning ideas on Pinterest I realized that the elf's arrival was kind of a big deal. The way I present her for the very first time kind of sets the bar for the type of excitement I'll get out of Kalynn.

So.

I thought about all the fun stuff my mom used to do with me as a kid and one of my favorites was always the scavenger hunt.
Kalynn is just about to turn only 4, so riddle clues are a little too overboard for her taste.

But!

A picture scavenger hunt, now that's totally do-able.

We have an Autumn tree that we put up right about the week before Thanksgiving every year. We decorate it with white lights and fall colored leaf garland, pumpkins, gourds, scarecrows, little turkeys, etc and then the day after Thanksgiving we take down all the Thanksgiving crap, change the lights, and hang up all the Christmas ornaments.

So Thanksgiving morning, Kalynn walked out into the living room to this:

( Sprinkling a light mixture of red glitter and baking soda around your husband's giant size 12 flip flop makes for a fantastic magical snowy Santa footprint. )

These footprints went straight from the chimney to the tree.  

The first thing she saw were of course the footprints. The second thing she saw was that the autumn decorations were gone and the white lights had been changed to multicolored. 

Having Santa in the house way before Christmas was such a shock to her easily confused system, she immediately ran into our room and pulled us out of bed for a full assessment of the situation. Jason and I got up to check out the scene and sure enough, we both came to the conclusion that they were, in fact, evidence of a fat man in a red suit. Upon closer inspection, we found a little rolled up note left behind on the tree skirt. 

Kalynn unrolled the ribbon and found the paper to be a photo of her bedroom vanity table. 

So we all walked over to her vanity table and low and behold, there was another rolled up paper which was a picture of our washing machine. 

And on the washing machine there was a picture of my jewelry box. 

And on my jewelry box there was a picture of under her bathroom sink... 

This squealing, giggling, Santa trail went on for 20 different places around our house until the last photo brought her to our bedroom closet where she found a letter from Santa, a tiny chair and a wrapped up present. 

(Bed head at its finest)

So the majority of us as parents know the concept of the Elf on the Shelf. I've read the story, I've asked my friends, I've pinned the ideas...

HOWEVER!

There is one GIANT part of the elf concept that I just can't get around which is that the Elf must not ever be touched or else she will lose her Christmas magic and she won't be able to fly to the North Pole to report to Santa. 

Every morning this elf is supposed to hide in some new and exciting place doing some new and exciting activity and then she's supposed to just be left alone for the remainder of the day and we all have to just continue life around her. 

But what if our elf is found some place that we need to utilize during that day? This part of the plan is so inconvenient. 

So. 

I thought and I thought and I thought and I finally came up with a very simple solution. 

Santa wrote Kalynn a letter and explained in detail about the elf not being touched. BUT, he also explained that she does get 10 SECONDS of non-magic per day. Only 10 quick seconds every morning and that 10 seconds is for mommies or daddies only to carefully pick her up, run her as fast as we can to the chair that Santa had made for her. It is sort of like a viewing chair. We had special instructions, from Santa himself, to place the chair somewhere that she is able to see the most of our household activities.

So the next day when Kalynn went looking for her morning fruit bar and she found her elf in the pantry making a snowman out of our marshmallows, she shrieked with delight and then came to get me. We both did our "ready, set, go!" and I ran the Elf from the kitchen to her fancy magic chair while Kalynn counted to 10 as loud and calm (not calm) as she could. 

It was all very exciting. 

The chair is one that I picked up at the Good Will for .99 cents a few weeks back and I decorated it with ribbon, glitter, and sticky gems. It is seriously going to be so much more convenient than having to step over this creepy little stalker every time she's found in the middle of the bathroom or bedroom floor. 

So now with Elf season officially upon us, may I just say good luck, parents! 

May all your children be well behaved and may your elves be creative and effortless! 

Dollar Store Halloween Skeleton Trophies

It's no secret how I feel about Autumn.

Something about the air coming out of the crisper drawer to play makes my heart skip a beat. 

Halloween has a hold on me in a way that no other holiday ever could. I'm in love with vintage Ouija boards.  I'm in love with the witching hour. I'm in love with the giant orange full moons. 

I have traditions, just like any other Fall junkie, that I happily look forward to all year and it's about that time to start crossing them off my list.

For instance, every year I watch The Shining

And I watch Clue because I LOVE Tim Curry. He's just the best. 

I also watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show because the only thing better than Tim Curry is Tim Curry in drag.

We watch It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown because no Halloween season is complete without a visit from the Great Pumpkin. We pop some popcorn and watch this one with Kalynn every year. I'm not sure if she remembers, but she's seen it every Halloween season since she was born.

And then of course there is the pumpkin patch, the pumpkin carving, the roasted pumpkin seeds, the home churned pumpkin ice cream, the pumpkin cheesecake and the pumpkin spice lattes.

Last year on Halloween night I worked a double at the bar and helped judge the annual costume contest. This year, I have the night off, but even though I won't be there in person I wanted to make something that would still let me be there in spirit.

Enter: The best Halloween costume contest trophies in the World...

Above is the final "Sexiest Costume" and "Best Couple Costume."

Below is "The Scariest Costume" and "Funniest Costume."

So here are the step by step instructions on how I made these guys:

At most Dollar Stores around town during the Halloween season you can pick up these skeleton garlands. They usually have 4 skeletons per garland and they work perfect because they're little bodies and heads are pretty amusing the way they are. Something about them just make me laugh.

You can also find these cheap plastic wine glasses in a pack of 5 or 6 for $1. 

The first thing you need to do is un-string your skeleton from the garland so you're left with just his skinny stick body and snap off all of his bones at the joints. I said my apologies to him before I did this with the promise that, like any surgery, he'd be better than new once the healing process happened. 

Next, you start rebuilding from the bottom up. You'll flip your wine glass over first and use it as the trophy base. Get out your trusty glue gun and form your little guy the way you want him. Start first with gluing his long skinny little toes to the bottom, and then his ankles and so on. 

Once you've got his knees and hips done, it's time to figure out what you want him to do with his hands. 

This guy is the Sexiest Costume man so I made sure to glue his head and arms just where I thought they'd look best. 

I followed the same basic assembly for all five trophies. The couple was the hardest to do but with patience (of which I have very little) I think it turned out the best. 

Next it is time to spray paint. You can find metallic gold stray paint at almost any hardware store. It runs about $6 per can. 

The great thing about the cheap wine glasses is that they come apart at the base, so when it was time to give them their color, it was super easy to separate them with out disrupting their pose.

The stem and cup of the wine glass are used as the base of the trophy so I opted to go with a flat black color which will most likely run you about $1. What's great about the project is that the whole thing total is doable under $10 as long as you already own a glue gun. But even then, a glue gun is only about $8 at any Target, Walmart or craft store. 

Once you put him all together, you can make his sash and base labels. I already have a label maker and construction paper so I just printed out his "Best Over All Costume" banner. 

So that's all there is to it! I hope every one is having a great Fall season and good luck with your contest!

The Biggest Loser Drinking Game : The Biggest Boozer

The Biggest Loser is back, ladies and gentlemen!!

It has been 7 long months of waiting since the March finale of season 14. But with our livers well rested, it is finally time for Fat Tuesday to join our family's calendar once again!

It has become a tradition for my husband and I to grab a babysitter, a good bottle of whiskey, and settle in on the couch for what always promises to be some good old fashioned entertainment on the wide screen (pun intended).

The Biggest Loser is a reality television show in which obese contestants compete to lose the highest percentage of weight loss with relation to their starting weight in order to win hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Let me start by saying that I'm not trying to be cynical here. I realize there are few reality shows out there with a healthy plot geared towards inspiring people all over the world to do something genuinely good for themselves.

That being said, my husband and I have chosen to cheer on these large and in-charge contestants in our own way. We don't mean to offend any one, it's just that this show has seriously gotten so fantastically predictable, we decided to have a little fun while we watch our favorite trainers crack the whip on their individual groups of heavy weight champions.

So here's the rules for those of you who want to play along. There are 12 of them so you're welcome to mix and match. For instance, throw them in a hat and pick out however many you deem appropriate in correlation to how your day was. Last Tuesday was a pretty good day, I may have only chosen 3 rules to work with. However the Tuesday before that was just awful, I may have chosen 7 or 8 to help deal with the annoyance.  If it is the worst Tuesday in the world, I see no harm in playing with all 12 rules. You get the picture.

1. DRINK whenever someone falls off a treadmill
2. DRINK whenever a contestant sheds tears
3. DRINK whenever a trainer sheds tears
4. DRINK whenever you see the full moon slide across the screen before a weigh-in
5. DRINK for every product placement advertisement for Subway, Sugar-free gum,  Jenny-O Turkey, Brita Water Filters, Walgreens etc.
6. DRINK whenever Gillian yells at a someone (trainers and contestants alike)
7. DRINK Whenever a former contestant shows up
8. DRINK when a trainer kicks a contestant out of the gym
9. DRINK for every motivational talk between trainer and contestant. (look for the phrases "I believe in you" "You're an inspiration" "You just have to believe in yourself" etc. Also look for the words journey, pain, dream(s), and accomplish(ment)(s).
10. DRINK every time Alison Sweeney says something is going to change the face/course of the game forever.
11. DRINK anytime a contestant screams/yells/makes strange noises while exercising.
12. DRINK when a contestant blames taking care of everyone else besides him or her self on their lifelong decision to choose deep fried cheesecake instead of movement.

Keep in mind, as the season progresses, the amount of drinking occasions change with the different dynamics of the game. For instance, as the contestants get more familiar with their new gym life, the frequency of someone rolling off the back of the treadmill declines. However, you'll start to see a noticeable incline of grunting montages during the challenges. The game really takes care of evening itself out.

Be safe everyone and as always, drink responsibly.

Oh, you're welcome.

Cheers!

A Glamping We Will Go! Part 1

So.

We're trying this camping thing again. Last year's trip was a failure, but we're optimistic that this go-around we (I) will be better prepared.

True to form, I've been in a list making frenzy the last 2 weeks even though we still have an additional 2 weeks before the big trip. I've raided our local Dollar Tree a dozen times and I am convinced that my shopping trips over the last 14 days have targeted me as a total lunatic. I tried to explain to the check-out girl that last year's trip was a disastrous battle and all of this preparation is, in fact, combat related but I don't think she bought it. She just doesn't understand what it is to plan a vacation with this particular thunderous three year old. There is an entire army inside her cute little toddler sized body. An army which is prepared to fight, to defend, and who has been trained to go straight for the jugular. She is a defiant whining machine. When she's good, she's sooo good. But when she's chooses the Dark Side.... I break into sweat when I even think about it.

I'm simply in combat training.

I've been hardened and strengthened.

This camping trip is going to be fun, damn it.

Anyway, The Family Dollar is currently stocked up on Summer supplies. Paying a measly dollar for anything that will be fun, keep her busy, and could possibly get broken or left behind is not so bad. I'd much rather go the cheap route than to buy the exact same thing at Target or Walmart for more money.

1. Glow sticks, glow bracelets, glow wands, glow necklaces, glow hats, glow EVERYTHING. $1

2. Binoculars $1

3. Hand held tent broom $1

4. Magnifying glass with built in tweezers and holding cell for any buggies you may find. $1

5. Antibacterial wet wipes $1

6. Flashlights AND batteries $1

7. Disposable plastic table cloths so if you spill something you can toss it instead of attracting a thousand flies and bees. $1

8. Fly Swatters $1

9. Water guns / squirters $1

10. Beach ball, blow up floaties (assuming you have a lake near by) $1

11. Travel bottles! Transfer your bathroom things like shampoo / conditioner / lotions AND your food condiments like mayo, mustard, ketchup into smaller bottles so they take up way less room in the cooler or bag. $1

12. Freeze packets for cooler. $1

13. All grilling supplies you may need including grill scrubs, metal spatulas, napkins, hot pads/gloves, dish towels $1

14. Playdough that can be thrown away after being rolled around in sand, leaves or dirt. $1

15. Face paint (because it's fun) $1

16. Crayons, blank paper and clip boards to make rubbings of leaves or bark. $1

17. Tap lights to put by Kalynn's bed at night in case she wakes up scared. $1

18. Plastic hair caps to put over food bowls and keep flies out while you eat. $1

19. 3 for $1 mesh laundry bags to keep your filthy clothes seperate from your clean clothes

20. Butterfly (or Daddy's head) catching nets $1

21. Sand toys $1

22. Sidewalk chalk for drawing on trees or rocks or whatever else $1

23. Paper towels, paper plates, toilet paper, and plastic silverware $1

I'm telling you, my husband as well as many of you, may think I'm out of control, but I assure you, this place is amazing.

I've also packed phone books instead of newspaper for fire kindling just because they are compact and it's easy for us to rip out pages as we need them. We bought sturdy Coleman inflatable mattresses with battery operated pump so we don't even have to bother with the roll-up sleeping pads this time around. (What a pain in the ass those were.) I've also discovered that the pump which inflates/deflates our mattresses is perfectly compatible with our Space Bags so bringing pillows, sheets and blankets only take up a quarter of the space in our car. 

Here's our offical 2013 camping list:

Laugh if you may, but I've thought of absolutely everything. I've even placed a hold on every children's camping book they have a our local library (which I'll pick up tomorrow) so that I can psych her up for the next two weeks and make sure she's super excited.

I chalked last year up to a great learning experience and one that I did not take lightly. Having an over abundance of things to do and being realistic and smart about the things we need to pack is going to help out tremendously. I don't have the luxury of a constantly well behaved angel of a kid. Don't get me wrong. I love her so much I want to squeeze her tiny little precious head off sometimes but I mean, come on. She's a crazy, energy filled, 3-year-old only child. I need a plan of attack. And a back up plan of attack. And a back up for my back up.

Over reacting, you say? How can a face so cute be so out of control, you say?

Yeah, right.

Over and out.

Want to hear more from me? You can now follow me on Instagram! @thebrighterwriter

A Glamping We Will Go! Part 2 HERE

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Surprise Anniversary post

My husband and I are on opposite ends of almost every spectrum. We see things through completely different lenses.

I eat vegetables and he eats meat-lovers pizza.

He watches sports, I watch reality TV.

He listens to Rise Against, I listen to good music.

He's up the bean stalk, I'm down the rabbit hole.

I'm "End of the World," He's "Life Goes On"

He farts loud and a lot, I only fart once a day and even then it's nothing to write home about.

My point is, we've learned how to compromise and happily at that. Things seem to somehow always turn out on the upside. I'm the left to his right. He's the white to my black. We've finally picked up the right rhythm. It took us a minute, but now that we're here, I wouldn't trade my journey for anything if it meant changing the outcome.

I will preface this post by saying I personally hate surprises. Like, I hate them. If you were to plan a surprise party for me and I didn't see it coming, I would flip out. Like a lot. I'm a planner. My husband knows this. My friends and family know this. I need advance notice even if I'm going to sneeze. It is not amusing to have things thrown at me. I may act like it's not a big deal on the outside, but inside I will secretly hate you. I will hate you a lot.

Jason on the other hand, loves spontaneity. He has no problem flying by the seat of his ass with an open schedule and not a care in the world. This works splendidly for us. I can plan things, months in advance, in complete secrecy, than then when I spring it on him, it's still spontaneous for him. This is why for our anniversary this year, I've planned out a weekend away that he knows absolutely nothing about.

Well, until now that he's reading this...

So Jason:

A few months ago I told you that Horsetooth Reservoir was having its seasonal marina opening party and that my boss desperately needed extra bartenders because it was our busiest weekend of the year at JJ's. I made you take days off of work because if I picked up shifts, there would be nobody around to watch our daughter.

I totally made all of that up.

I have no idea when the marina opens up at Horsetooth and I don't even know if they throw a party when it does open. I'm not going to work. My mom is here from LA to watch Kalynn and since we both have 3 days off work, I'm planed a secret weekend away.

I've rented us a 2 story, 3 bedroom cabin in the mountains which is walking distance from downtown Estes Park and still somehow totally secluded.

We have 2 nights and 3 days of total alone time where we can hit up The Stanley Hotel for cocktails and fancy desserts. Or we can head downtown to see live bands play at the local taverns. Or, since I bought us a weekend pass to Rocky Mountain National Park, we can pack a picnic lunch and a hike up to Bridal Veil Falls. Or we could go fishing since I secretly stole your drivers license and got your fishing permit when you weren't looking. Or we can bum around the cabin and do nothing. Or we can go to a movie at the Historic Park Theater. Or we can go have a classy dinner at some up-scale restaurant.

Whatever you want to do is totally OK with me, just know that whatever you choose, I'm wearing my wedding veil all damn weekend. You know, because it's tradition. Plus, if I wear my veil people will ask why I'm wearing it and then we get to say it's our 2nd anniversary and then they give us free stuff. Theoretically. It's a theory that still needs some testing.

So happy surprise "cotton" anniversary weekend, lets go!!

The Snow White Birthday Shoot

We're back from Kalynn's 3rd birthday celebration at Disneyland. I have 5 million photos to sort through and 3 million videos to watch.

Our airplane landed in Denver Sunday evening and I've been at work ever since, so I haven't had a whole lot of time online to play catch up.

But because it's been a while since my last post, I feel like I'm neglecting some of my family members who are itching to see some pictures!

For those of you who haven't seen Kalynn's Snow White photo shoot for her invitations, here's the final turn out:

I threw her invitations together on Photoshop sticking with the Snow White theme.

We've also started a new questionnaire tradition. I wanted to do this last year but she was just too little to understand any of the questions. I wanted to have something to look back on so I can remember where her sweet little head was in the world.  My very favorite answer was her explination of a future career in "pinching people's hair" which is what she says when I use the curling iron.  

Here's a closer look at her signature. I've never actually asked her to write anything before so I was pretty impressed.

I promise over the next few days I'll get my camera sorted out and have some awesome pictures to post! Until then, I hope all is well with all of you! And Kalynn thanks you all for the Birthday wishes!

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