The Public Library

I used to work in a library before I was a cocktail slinger. I was never a "librarian." You need a Master's Degree for that. Although I used to tell drunk people I was just to freak them out sometimes. I guess it's hard to imagine the girl standing on the bar at 2 in the morning screaming at the top of her lungs "LAST CALL!!!" quietly working away entering dissertation numbers and telling people which way to the reference section. But I did. Watson Library, University of Kansas. (Rock Chalk Jayhawk, go KU!)

Even when I was a kid I loved the library. The smell of old books had me hooked. I would spend hours and hours with my mom checking out magazines and books on River Phoenix and then I would stand at the copy machine with every dime I had making copies of his gorgeous face to hang on my wall. The librarians knew me. I was the 13-year-old obsessed with the dead guy. I must have made them go into the basement for archives a million times.

Later on in life, libraries sketched me out for whatever reason. Something about the "free" concept, the I-promise-to-return-this, the let-me-sit-here-on-your-complimentary-internet part of it just didn't seem natural to me. In my head I guess I pictured that libraries turned into loitering places for homeless guys  and stinky hippies and their kids and dogs sometime around 2001. I don't know. Nothing I ever think is really logical.

In reality the library, at least the Orange County Library - University Park, is such a lovely place. The funny thing about these magical buildings is that they hold the power to make people want to be on their best behavior for some reason. I thought I'd test the theory on Kalynn to see if it holds up for toddlers too. Turns out, it totally does. She loves talking in a whisper and tip toeing through the halls. And they are so incredibly toddler friendly! They have craft days, and family reading time, and story time where they sing songs and play games. They even have Read to a Dog days where you bring a blanket and the local shelter brings a handful of the most gentle, certified therapy pups to get loved on and read to. It's truly a great place. If you haven't been to your local branch in a while, I highly recommend a reunion. (And no, the Bookmobile doesn't count)

Toddler VS Rain

So it pretty much sucks to be a toddler stuck inside when it's raining. I get it. I try to make it as enjoyable as I can, but you can only plan so many fun indoor distractions. It's a little like preparing for a battle I would assume. You have to come prepared and ready to put your head down and fight through it. The toddler is a tricky little creature because their attention span is so incredibly short, that if you can't go outside you literally have to change activities every 10 minutes. I don't have a magic list of combat tools. But I do have a couple magic suggestions that have worked for our family.
First of all, one of the rules I have learned to accept once I became a mom was that a dirty kid is a happy kid. This one took me a while. I wanted clothes to stay white, I wanted hair to stay brushed, and I wanted hands to stay clean. I guess I realized very soon after Kalynn started crawling that maybe I was this way because things were just easier for me. Honestly, I just had to let it go. Messy kids are happy kids. I quit being lazy and just accepted that I may have extra messes to pick up, paint to scrub off, dirt to vacuum but it's because I'm letting her be a kid.
That being said, some of these are messy crafts. Not hire-a-maid-service dirty but they are a little messy. So there is your warning.

Ok so this first one isn't messy, and it's kind of odd, and we do it even if it's not raining. I'm actually not sure how fun it is to anyone other than my strangely easily amused kid. But every morning when the sun hits our front door peep hole, a circle rainbow will appear on the opposite wall. This makes Kalynn wildly excited. Wildly excited. I lift her up, and she will spend about 10 minutes putting her finger in the hole and watching the spot appear and disappear. She thinks this is just the bees knees for whatever reason and she squeals with delight and happiness. It is seriously one of the strangest things I have ever seen.

She has the same kind of reaction when I stand her on the kitchen counter and let her push the microwave buttons...

The second is something I did pretty consistently as a kid which was play with play dough. This is actually the same recipe my mom used. I always think it's way more fun to help make it rather than go choose a tub on the shelf.

Ingredients:
3 cups flour
1.5 cups salt
6 tablespoons cream of tartar
3 tablespoons oil
3 cups water

It pretty much looks like a big wet mess after you mix the ingredients together, but after the heat hits it for a few minutes (cook on medium) it starts to stiffen and you can form it into a ball.  A brilliant friend of mine also suggested adding in some Kool-aid for great color and smell (which just about made my head spin around in excitement because it was such a genius idea...) Then throw in some cookie cutters to make it extra fun!

Activity number 3 was painting some rocks we had found the day before. Although hers turned out much more of the abstract variety and mine the R2D2/Yoda variety, we both had a good time.

My other suggestions are pretty much always on standby at our house. Stickers, stickers, stickers! It doesn't even matter what kind they are. I find the 39 cent clearance stickers that say "mail room" on them are just as effective and fun as the $4.99 Disney Princess stickers. She really could care less what is on them. I found a small blank spiral journal at Michaels the other day in the $1 bin and she will sit and fill the pages until every last sticker has been placed. 

Good luck, warriors!

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The Birdhouse

When I was pregnant I moved to Long Beach from San Clemente to be closer to my mom when the baby was born. I lived off 2nd and Cherry in a house the owners had turned into apartments. My place was very Alice-ish, which is why I chose it right away. Tiny cupboards everywhere and small fancy doors and cute round little windows. It had a very English feel. There was even a garden in the middle where this old, long white haired, witch lady sat and chain smoked her cigarettes. She sounded like the twin sisters from the Simpsons. I called her Smoker Lady. She was very sweet, and very nosey, and very willing to do whatever it took to get me to never move away from her. She grew an attachment which was strong and quick. She sat out front in the garden on her plastic chair with her dog Bailey surrounded by hundreds of glass fairies she had strategically placed to keep evil spirits away. She chain smoked her menthol cigarettes waiting for me to come out with my tea in the mornings and chat. Which I did. Every morning. 9 months pregnant with my "Beer Me" t-shirt, my bathrobe, and my red bulldog pajama pants.

We were buddies.

She would tell me all about her daughter, and her ex husbands, and how she loved Jesus and witchcraft at the same time and she would apologize for the smoking as she lit another cigarette, and we would just sit. All day. She was convinced I was a witch in hiding and that I just hadn't come out of the closet yet. She was also on a lot of heavy drugs.
Her house was decorated just as I imagined Stevie Nicks' would be. Lots of draperies and candles and big windows and jewelry boxes and silk scarves and expensive looking couches with lots of tiny embellishments on them. I'm not sure why we were such good friends, but it was comforting to me that she was such a meddler. It was nice to know she kept an eye on the neighborhood 24/7.
After Kalynn was born and it was time for me to move back down to Orange County, she was truly heartbroken. We had grown very fond of each other and I think she didn't have very many people who really cared for her. She was old, she was lonely, and even though she knew it was coming, she took it hard when I left.
Over the year I lived there, I had mentioned over and over how much I adored this particular birdhouse which sat in the corner of the garden and was really in bad shape. It was one of her favorites too. I remember she always had a stick of lit incense hanging off the top...
The day I moved out she wasn't home. I went upstairs to say goodbye and she was nowhere to be found. I'm not sure if she planned it that way or not, but I never had the chance to say goodbye to her.  She did, however, leave the birdcage on my front porch with a little note that said "for you." It made me cry. I never went back to see her. The way she took care of herself and the health problems that she had, didn't give me a lot of hope that she would be sticking around for a lengthy period of time on this Earth. I never wanted to know for sure.
The birdcage has been sitting in my front yard rotting for over 2 years until last week when I got a fire under my ass to bring it back to life again.

Run Surf City Half Marathon ~ Huntington Beach, California 2012

Lets just do a quick little recap of my greatest running hits. Lets just sit back together and laugh at my failure in being the world's best half marathon runner ever.

Ok, we'll start with Long Beach Half Marathon 2007. Here I am, running my little tiny legs off, determined to beat my best record:

About 2 miles after this picture was taken, my phone, which was strapped to my leg, started ringing. It was work. I was getting called in for some sort of vodka shortage related emergency at the bar and was going to have to leave the race early. I did what any person would do. I jumped the median and cut out about 9 miles of the run so that I still could cross the finish line and get my medal. These races cost around $100 a pop so I at least wanted to leave with a shiny finishers medal. What I didn't think about when doing this was that I was only about an hour into a race that would take a normal runner so much longer. So when I looked around it dawned on me that I was running the finish with world renowned runners from Kenya. Kenyan runners, with professional running gear, sponsors in every direction taking pictures, crowds cheering, and then here comes Krista with her long sleeve t-shirt tied around her waste and her iPod nano strapped to her arm. Yes. It happened. 

4 days later I got a package in the mail from the Marathon people with a gold medal inside and a nice letter telling me I had come in first place in my division. 

Yes, of course I called, explained, and gave it back.   

Moving right along to the Orange County Half Marathon 2008. Here I am, starving to death, because it was the very first half marathon that Orange County had put on, and they didn't provide us with bananas and coffee at the start.  Every other half marathon I had ever ran gave us coffee and bananas.

So I was freezing because it had been pouring rain the first mile and a half, I was about to faint from lack of coffee and bananas, and I was having a hard time getting in my "zone." I did what any person would do. I saw a Del Taco around the corner so I stopped in for a potty break and a breakfast burrito. I mean honestly, if you can't have a Del Taco breakfast burrito during a marathon run, then when can you have one? I got a few dirty looks trying to run down parts of PCH squirting mild sauce on my hash browns but who really cares? I, for one, certainly did not. 

Ok,  City Of Angels Half Marathon 2008: 

I "ran" this one with my oh-so-patient Mom. I honestly don't think I have ever whined so much in my entire life. Maybe when I was 6 years old, trying to run the Boulder-Boulder 10K with her and it just wasn't going to happen so she had to carry me the entire way. But this particular time I bummed out my knee in the first 2 miles and basically cried about it the rest of the way through. Except, true to my Leo characteristic, when I saw a Brightroom camera man and smiled for a picture...

Last year's Huntington Beach Half Marathon was a nightmare. I think it had a little to do with the fact that it was my first big run since I had the baby. I was trying to prove to myself that I still had it. Which, turns out, I absolutely did not. I went so hard, so fast, that by mile 9 I had a small tear in my right knee. In mile 11, my left knee went as well. I ended up in the first aid tent humiliated because I forgot to shave my legs for like a week. I had hot paramedics all up under my pant leg while I sat there panting, smelling like a dirty armpit, and growing more hair than Teen Wolf with each passing second. 

If that wasn't bad enough, I had a couple of local friends come down and cheer me on which felt awesome. But while I was trying to multitask my walking and talking about my injury, I failed to see the camera man directly ahead of me and came about a foot away from bowling him over. He was not amused as much as my friends were. 

Then here is another Run Surf City. 2008 I think. It's the only half marathon I have ever completed without anything happening out of the ordinary. Really look at me here.  I'm so excited that I escaped any drama and crossed the finish line in one piece, that I'm practically hovering above the ground:

This year I thought I was just so cool. I made a conscious effort to shave my legs this time (just in case) and I made my little homemade t-shirt that was going to make me the voice of this half marathon. 

I thought people were going to see this shirt and automatically be compelled to hoist me up on their shoulders and carry me to victory over the line while they chanted "Krista! Krista! Krista!" 

But instead, I blew my knee out and stepped in a pile of dog shit within 60 seconds of each other. Also, as if that wasn't enough, I came in right after the guy who ran the whole thing with a watermelon on his head. Don't believe me? Here's the video. I slowed it down for you. I'm in the pink running in after him.  He's the one in the bright yellow shirt with the watermelon on his head. 

Ok, yes part of me may be doing it for the Facebook pictures. Also, part of me thinks that if the people from The Biggest Loser can do it I certainly can too, but mostly I do it for fun. I pour every ounce of blood, sweat and beer I have into these things. 30,000 runners right along side you, live bands playing every mile and a half, great cheerleaders along the side of the road with funny signs that say things like "You are NOT almost there!" and "Worst Parade Ever!" You really test your mental strength and see how far you can push yourself in these things. The feeling you get when you cross the finish line after running over 2 straight hours with thousands of people clapping for you and letting you know that they get it is so indescribable. 

If ever there was something to add to your bucket list, running one of these assholes should be it.

Super Bowl! Watermelon Jello Shots and Football Cake Pops

Super bowl morning, I got up at 4AM for the Run Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach. Man, oh man... I'll get to that later in the week.

For now, I'm focusing on food. Wonderful, high in calorie, low in caring, Super Bowl food. Food that you just graze on for hours until you realize that you've eaten 10 mini twice baked potatoes, a small mammal's worth of little smokies, half the tray of bacon wraps, the equivalent of an entire avocado tree in guacamole, and probably enough pasta salad to cure hunger in most 3rd world countries.

Oh, I ate.

I ate a lot.

We have a soulmate couple. They are "the ones." We want to marry them and spend the rest of our lives together in blissful harmony. Not only are they just all around the most genuine people on the planet, but they throw a mean Super Bowl party with food like you wouldn't believe.  I was asked to be in charge of Jello shots and cake pops.

These guys are SO SIMPLE to make (after the de-pulping of the limes). I think it's super cute that they look like little watermelons although I used strawberry Jello. I personally am a big fan of the strawberry-lime taste. But if your store has watermelon Jello and you'd rather use that, by all means, use it. They even make edible black marker if you want to draw on some seeds. Oranges with orange Jello or lemons with lemon Jello work great as well. But I used limes. Obviously. 

First you need to cut a lime in half and scoop out the guts so all you have left is an empty shell. This is by far the pain-in-the-assiest part of the whole process. When you conquer this, you'll be in need of one of these shots. 

And keep the juice! You can make delicious Key Lime Bars with it!

Make your jello just like the box says except substitute the 2 cups cold water with 2 cups cold vodka.  Don't be trying to get any of that sugar-free crappy jello either. Spend the extra $1 and get the good stuff. Then fill the lime bowls to the very top with jello mixture. After you let them set for a couple of hours in the refrigerator, cut them in half. 

That's it. You're done, time to impress some folks and get hammered.

Next stop: football cake pops:

You're going to follow all the same beginning directions as the Minnie Mouse Cake Pops. The only real difference here is that I used white confetti cake instead of red velvet. 

Once you have the cake and cream cheese frosting mixed together, form some footballs and insert a lollipop stick. Refrigerate for 2 hours and then dip in melted chocolate. 

Last, all you need is the white icing for decoration and then game on!

We hope you all had an amazing Super Bowl Sunday!

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Crescent Chicken Bundles

Little bags of gold is what these should be called...

Ingredients:
1 packaged Pillsbury crescent rolls
1.5 lbs cooked and cubed boneless skinless chicken breast
8oz sour cream
1 can cream of chicken
1 cup mixed veggies

Mix everything MINUS crescent rolls together. (I'm including this handy photo tutorial as to add some additional help to this terribly confusing project)

Instead of breaking rolls apart, flatten out 2 adjacent rolls forming one mega crescent rectangle and put a scoop of your chicken mixture inside like so:

Bundle up your goop ball inside a nice little papoose and cook according to directions on crescent packaging. I think it's like 350 for 15 minutes. I don't really remember to be honest with you. I have a hard time retaining information when I'm starving to death. 

We like to have ours with this amazing side of (CLICK THE LINK ~~~~~~>)BREADED PARMESAN ASPARAGUS

Instead of crescent rolls, you can also but the same gut ingredients inside a pie crust covered by another pie crust to make an incredible pot pie. I do this after Thanksgiving with my left over turkey.

Alice in Wonderland / Through the Looking Glass photo shoot

I know I've gone missing the last 2 days. I've been in a photo editing haze. The following is my excuse:

So by now you know I'm pretty much a crazy person. I spend WAY too much time crafting, taking pictures, baking, cooking... But I'm going to have to say this project pretty much skyrockets me onto another level of crazy.

I'm an Alice in Wonderland FANATIC. (Yes, FANATIC absolutely deserves the capital letters AND the italics.) I have been since I was a little girl. Over the 31 years I've been around, I've collected enough Alice in Wonderland / Through the Looking Glass memorabilia to open a museum. Some of it is on display in Kalynn's nursery, but the expensive stuff, the stuff I've had shipped from different countries and out of print collector's stuff, that's all packed away for safe keeping. Safe Keeping = when no children live in my house.
Kalynn was Alice 2 halloween's ago, but her costume was gigantic on her. A year and a half later, here I am spending sleepless nights making a tiny room from a box for this insane photo shoot I've been dreaming about. The SECOND I found out I was having a little girl, this photo shoot began bouncing around in my brain. It was even on my bucket list. The time has finally come.

I know I'm not getting any rewards here for this, but I would like to thank my husband for allowing my delusional sense of time escape me for the last few days. For lugging tables and tea sets and million pound mirrors all over the place. Also for standing back when my quick fuse lights and my temper explodes on a poor tree that wasn't standing where it needed to stand.

That being said, here's a handful of my favorite pics. The whole shoot can be found on my Facebook link HERE. Enjoy!

Through the Looking Glass

Down the Rabbit Hole

Checking out the Cheshire Cat (he's on the tree)

Chasing White Rabbits

The Mad Tea Party

Painting the Roses red

The entire photo shoot can be found HERE